Chapter Eleven.
"Greek and Roman mythology," said Mrs. Genger, our French teacher, "collects the myths of the heroes, the so-called demigods, who..."
"I did that thing when I was 11," whispered Logan sitting next to me, and I couldn't suppress a little laugh. "Who does she think we are? Kids?"
"Oh, don't be so hard on her, I love mythology," I replied with a smile.
"Oh, stop it, I know you think like me, you just won't admit it!"
"We're disturbing you, maybe!" suddenly exclaimed Mrs. Genger, turning her gaze towards us.
"Sorry, Madame," I said, blushing with shame.
She sighed and then resumed her long tirade on the difference between Greek and Roman gods. I tried to listen but was distracted by Logan, who kept gesticulating. I glanced at him and noticed that he seemed amused by the situation. His eyes were twinkling with pleasure and he was smirking. I elbowed him in the ribs and said:
"You're incorrigible!"
Then we burst into unstoppable laughter. Unfortunately, the teacher noticed us and there was an awkward silence as she stopped talking. Mrs. Genger looked furious and her angry face was chilling. She stared at us as if we were two thugs who didn't belong in her class.
"You two," she said, pointing at us, "get out! And you'll have extra homework to do for me!"
Sullenly, we gathered our things and hurried out under the glare of our classmates. Then, passing the door of the classroom, we left in an endless laughter. Finally calmed down, we ran, enjoying our freedom, in an unknown direction, trusting only our instinct. After 10 minutes of running, we stopped on the grass of the surrounding park and lay down, breathless.
"What the hell did we do!" I suddenly cried, realizing the reality of the situation.
"What did we do? What's going on?" asked Logan, concerned.
"I don't usually get reprimanded in class," I explained. "Okay, I've cut class before; okay, sometimes I've left in the middle of class because I was unstable; but this, being humiliated in front of the others, by the teacher, never."
"Oh, relax! It's not the end of the world either!" said the young man in a soft voice. "I'm sure that in a few years you'll be laughing about it."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I just do!" he replied.
I wasn't the kind of girl who liked problems. In fact, I used to run away from them whenever I could and shut myself up in my lonely bubble and mope around inside for hours. And that's what I did.
No one understood what I was feeling: a mixture of despair, sadness and melancholy. No one understood me. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, it was the truth. No one was close enough to me to really know me, for the simple reason that I forbade it. I was afraid of what might be found under those already frail shells that I had fought to protect from the outside world, to protect myself from myself. I was afraid that people would see me as a poor little beast who needs to be protected. I can take care of myself. Without others. Yet, I was the one who took a box of medicine and swallowed all the pills. I wasn't forced, it was my choice. A stupid choice, but it was mine. Oh my God, I really need help.
After realizing this need, I leapt to my feet and rushed into the center in search of the one person who could perform this miracle. And as I dashed through the sliding door of the lobby, hurried footsteps sounded at my back.
"Amber, where are you going?" I heard behind me.
"Look, Logan," I said, turning around, "I never should have been expelled from class, I regret that. And I know you didn't mean to cause this, but I need to learn some things for my own good, and I need to do it alone."
"Okay, fine, go ahead!" he replied with a voice full of reproach.
"Don't take it the wrong way, I want to get better, don't you?"
"Yes, of course," said the young man while calming down.
"And know that it is thanks to you!" I declared by looking away because I blushed.
"Thanks to me?" he asked, incredulous.
"It's thanks to you," I said, "that I want to get better. You make me want to live my life, to laugh like before, without being excluded from class of course, but I haven't felt these emotions for a long time and I would like to rediscover them."
"Ah, now I understand better," he said with a smile. "Do you want me to go with you?"
"With pleasure," I agreed.
Then, we left in the direction of the nurses' office, leading to the person I was looking for.
*****
Chapter Twelve.
Dr. Parish looked at me with a bewildered expression. Yet I didn't understand why. I had told him about my problem, insisting on details so that he would know the whole story. Nevertheless, I had missed something if he was in this state. Since I had paged him twice for his opinion, all I had gotten was a look on his face that was too bewildered to answer.
"Is everything okay, doctor?" I asked anxiously.
"I'd like you to explain something to me," he said softly.
A most bizarre question, but I nodded my head in agreement.
"Are you, by any chance, in love with Logan Reyes?"
"What? No," I stammered, surprised, "I don't know him well enough to have feelings for him."
"Okay, if you say so," said Dr. Parish. "And please, call me Steve."
There was an awkward silence, quickly broken by the young doctor.
"So you wanted my advice, is that it?" he asked, after a moment's thought.
"Yes, if you don't mind," I answered shyly.
"Oh no, absolutely not," he said. "Anyway, I'm glad you're aware of your problem, because it helps to get better. Of course, we'd have to see each other more often to work things out, but I think you're on the right track. And I think getting out will help you. So, what do you say we go outside on Sundays, say once a month for now?"
"Oh yes, I'd love to," I said enthusiastically. "And where would we go?"
"I think just about anywhere," Steve explained. "You've already seen the city, so I'm thinking places you've never been, to see the beauty of the landscape and discover new things. Will you make me a list of the cities you've already visited?"
"Absolutely, I'll do it right now!"
"I admire your optimism," he said, laughing. "But take your time, I have to organize everything first. So I leave you, I have a lot of things to prepare for this first trip. I would hold you with the current."
And with these words, he left my room where we had settled to discuss quietly. As soon as he walked out the door, I called him back.
"Dr. Parish!" I exclaimed as he turned around. "Sorry, Steve! Thank you for all you do! Thank you so much!"
"Oh, it's nothing," he smiled.
Then, overcome by an irresistible urge, I threw myself into his arms and surrendered to his comforting embrace. He wrapped his strong arms around me and tenderly stroked my back for comfort. I felt as if he was filling the missing father role in my life and it warmed my heart.
*****
Chapter Thirteen.
"She gave us an essay for next week," Ellie huffed sadly, referring to Mrs. Genger.
"Seriously?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes, on both mythologies and in groups at that," she explained. "It's because of you and Logan!"
"But... uh... why?" I asked.
"You got fired!" she exclaimed, slightly angry.
"Yes, and?" I said, waiting for the next part.
"Oh, I don't know Amber!" replied the young girl. "Logan, him, is used to it but I didn't think that you were like that!"
"What? It was the first time and I really regret it."
"In any case," she resumed without taking into account my comment, "I would have wanted to do it with you but no, it was necessary that I fall with Naomi and you with Logan!"
"Logan, why him?" I said, surprised.
"It's to punish you for not being in class together during his lecture," Ellie explained.
I felt like I had let my friend down and my morals fell into the deepest layer of darkness that surrounded my heart. I had to fix the situation because I got along with the jet-haired girl. I had never felt so close to anyone and despite our differences, I knew she understood me or at least tried to, as I tried to understand her. And I appreciated that aspect of her very much.
"I'm sorry, I would have loved to do this assignment with you and I also apologize for my inappropriate behavior in class," I said, breaking the silence.
"How can I be mad at you after what you just said to me? Of course I forgive you," she said, hugging me gently.
I let myself go in her soft and warm embrace. I could smell her almond scent emanating from her radiant hair. She was slightly taller than me, which made her look even skinnier.
"By the way," I said, pulling away from her delicate arms, "is something going on with you and Cody?"
"Oh," she murmured embarrassed, "you noticed. Actually, he and I aren't a couple. I mean, we were for a while, but we split up so we could go our separate ways."
"But you still love him, don't you?" I understood her embarrassed expression.
"Yes," the girl admitted. "But you have to understand one thing: sometimes I think I'm fat and sometimes I'm normal, it depends on the day. With him, it was different. I felt wanted, myself, and normal. And I must say that I miss that."
"Wait!" I exclaimed. "When you say normal, do you mean that you had no problem eating like us?"
"Not really like you," she explained. "But yes, I was starting to eat again."
"So why did you split up?"
"Because love isn't everything, Amber," Ellie said as she sat down on one of the sofas in my room.
"There must be an explanation," I insisted, taking a seat next to her.
"Yes," the young girl with the brown eyes blew, "to tell the truth, I left him."
"What? Why did you leave him?"
"Because I'm anorexic, Amber," she replied. "I suffer from a disorder that doesn't go away when I fall in love or when I do something I like. No, my pathology remains and will remain until I am cured."
I looked away, too embarrassed to try to look Ellie in the eye. I was angry at myself for making her tell me this revelation. She who never talked about her anorexia had just confessed her biggest secret to me. I didn't know what to say. However, I forced myself to face her despite my embarrassment. She didn't look angry, which was a good point, an excellent one.
"Thank you for trusting me to tell me your problem," I said, sincerely.
"No, thank you for getting me to talk," she replied. "My doctor and my therapist have been trying for months with no results. Thank you for being my friend."
"It's mutual!" I said, smiling.
"Wow! We're getting sentimental," Ellie laughed.
And I joined in, laughing heartily alongside her. Tonight, we were enjoying life without giving the slightest importance to our everyday worries, letting ourselves be carried away to the path of happiness. Happiness that seemed far away when reality took over our lives.
*****
Chapter Fourteen.
On Thursday, during the class called "work", my classmates and I had to paint the lobby of the center. It was supposed to be an artistic task, but since I had no talent, I had to rely on Ellie, who had a real gift. She told me how to do it and following her advice, I made a rather nice drawing of a wind blowing up petals of flowers of all colors. Next to the jet-black girl's, my painting was not original at all. She had concocted a mixture of hues and shades to draw a flock of butterflies fluttering by a pure blue stream. It was simply beautiful.
Amazed by the girl's work, I didn't immediately feel the breath on my neck. I turned to see that Ben, Cody and Logan were behind us.
"Hi guys!" said Ellie.
"Hi girls," said Ben. "Wow! You've outdone yourselves with this job, it's a great sketch."
"Oh, I had nothing to do with it," I commented. "It's Ellie's work, not mine."
"That's not true," she replied. "I did most of it, but this is her drawing."
And she showed them a piece of the wall where I had desperately followed the indications of the girl with brown pupils. I blushed at the admiring looks of my friends who were contemplating the drawing. Uneasy, I looked away and put my eyes on my shoes, suddenly taken by passion for them.
"But it's beautiful, Amber," Logan exclaimed. "You should be proud of yourself, so smile a little!"
And suddenly I had a gooey paste sliding down my face. When I looked up, I noticed the young blond man's teasing smile and a brush full of red paint in his right hand.
"You didn't dare?" I said.
"Oh yes, I did," he replied, smiling wider.
The war was declared. Shades of color flew in all directions to land where they found refuge. That meant on our clothes, our faces and our hair. Just about everywhere. Paint covered every bit of skin and fabric on us, mixing colors like we were playing paintball.
Laughter erupted as we tried to escape the stubborn watercolor. Then I felt myself being lifted off the ground and carried on one shoulder.
"Let go of me Logan!" I ordered as I struggled.
"Okay, suit yourself," he said in a sly voice.
He grabbed me by the waist and swung me over a paint can, holding me down with his grip on my hips.
"So, do you still want me to let you go?" he asked, a smile lighting up his face.
"No," I admitted after a moment.
Suddenly, I slipped out of his gouache-filled hands and almost fell into the bucket. But Logan held me up just in time and readjusted his palms on my body, sending sparks down my skin. Then I noticed that his head was standing an inch from mine. His gaze kept moving from my eyes to my mouth and then back again. My heart raced and I prayed inside that he wouldn't hear it because it was beating so hard. Then he pulled me to my feet, without removing his hands, as if he wanted me to be safe in his arms. And surprisingly, I felt safe with him.
"Sorry about your jeans," he said with an overwhelmed look.
I turned around and looked at the damage in horror. My beautiful faded jeans had taken on a whole new hue. A huge black stain now adorned the back pockets of my pants.
"I'm really sorry, I'll buy you a new pair, I promise," he said distressed.
"No, don't worry, it's not that bad."
"Not that bad?! Logan, you remade her butt!" Ben said, barely holding back a laugh.
"Oh, shut up Ben! Come on, let's try to wash him," Ellie offered.
I nodded and we followed her down the hallway, trying not to stain the floor with our things. When we reached the bedroom wing, the boys went their separate ways while Ellie and I headed for my bathroom. Before we left, I whispered to Logan:
"I don't blame you, so smile a little!"
And indeed, he gave me his best smile.
*****
Chapter Fifteen.
The next day, at 10:00 a.m., I went to the infirmary for my daily tests. When I entered the room, I noticed that the nurse, Mrs. Shepard, was waiting for me with her usual notebook in hand.
"Hi Amber, are you ready?" she asked.
"Hello," I said. "After all, I don't really have a choice, do I?"
She didn't answer, familiar with my sarcasm. Instead, she turned around to get her equipment and pointed to the recliner in the middle of the room. I made myself as comfortable as possible and watched her draw my blood. As I felt the needle sink into my antiseptic-soaked flesh, I suppressed a shiver. Even when I was used to this ritual, I never appreciated the sensation. Then she did her job as a nurse, which meant checking my temperature, my heartbeat, my blood pressure... Then she measured my height: 1.70m, and my weight. When the scale read 59kg, I was surprised to see that I had lost 3kg. However, Mrs. Shepard noticed it too.
"You've lost a little weight, Amber. Are you eating your fill here?"
"Yes, well some days the food is not very good," I said.
"I see. But you're thinking about something else, aren't you?" she asked me as if she could read my mind.
"To tell you the truth, I've been working out more than I used to, could that be a reason?"
"Oh yes, absolutely," she said. "What did you do before?"
"Swimming, about two hours a week," I said.
"So you used to compete?" she said, curious.
"No, my mother didn't want to, she didn't have time because of her job as a lawyer," I explained.
"That's too bad!" she exclaimed. "Well, I'm done and all is well. Eat a little more to keep your diet balanced. I'm going to talk to Dr. Parish about the food you don't like so he can talk to you about it. Otherwise, I'll sign your permission slip for this weekend's outing. This is your first one, if I'm not mistaken?"
I nodded my head up and down with a small smile, eager to get out of the center after three weeks and get some fresh air.
"You'll see, these outings are amazing," she said as she washed her hands.
"I can't wait to get out there," I said. "Are you coming with us?"
"Oh not this time, but the escorts are Steve and Kate, I mean Dr. Parish and Dr. Morse."
"And do you know where we're going?" I asked, interested.
"That's a surprise," she said in a mysterious voice.
I walked out of the infirmary a little worried, apprehensive about the surprise. It wasn't that I didn't like surprises, on the contrary, but people I liked had often disappointed me. And for me, disappointment was a sign of despair because I lost all semblance of faith in those who disappointed me.
*****
Chapter Sixteen.
When we arrived at the big pool, I was dazzled by the attractions it presented. Dozens of slides, all different from each other, several pools with shining blue water and water games. However, a problem persisted.
"Uh, I don't have a swimsuit," I whispered to my friends.
Then they laughed and I looked at them with a look of incomprehension. They waved to Dr. Parish, who came to shine my light.
"Don't worry, Ellie took care of it. Actually, the surprise was for you!"
"For me?" I said, flabbergasted.
"Yes, since it's your first time out," he explained. "And I got the idea when, during one of our sessions, you told me about your passion for swimming."
"Oh thank you so much," I said, giving him a hug. "Really, no one has ever done this for me."
"Don't thank me, Logan set me straight."
"He did? Well, thank you, Logan," I thanked him with a smile.
When Ellie and I had finished changing, we joined the boys who were waiting for us in the main pool. The water was pleasantly warm and didn't smell too chlorine-y.
"It's beautiful here, isn't it?" asked Cody.
"It's wonderful," I replied enthusiastically.
"Well, let's start enjoying the day!" exclaimed Ben.
Then he headed for a huge slide, followed by Ellie and Cody.
"Are you coming?" said Logan.
"No, I'll stay here, but you go," I said.
"Okay. Is everything okay?"
"Yes, perfectly," I confirmed.
He walked away and I was alone in my element. I started to swim, finding the usual swimming movements that did me a lot of good. Suddenly, I bumped into someone and realized it was Dr. Parish. He was accompanied by Mrs. Morse whom I greeted before he took me away.
"So you like this place?"
"Yes, very much so," I said. "But why did you take me away?"
"Oh, nothing," he lied.
"No, you like Mrs. Morse!"
"Amber, come on! I know very well who I like and who I don't!"
"You didn't deny it," I retorted.
"We will speak about it later," he made while leaving to join her.
"I'm counting on it," I shouted over the surrounding noise.
*****
Chapter Seventeen.
After testing every conceivable attraction, Ellie and I relaxed in the huge Jacuzzi located in a quiet room. The place was not only quiet but filled with extreme beauty. The walls were made of rock and the floor was as if the room was a cave. Smoke wafted from the pool to form soothing clouds against my face. I wanted to stay here forever. Lounging in the warm water was exquisite, so much so that I thought of nothing. And believe me, it felt so good.
I was enjoying this moment with my eyes closed to relax even more when I heard familiar voices approaching us. I realized that Logan, Cody and Ben had come to join us, having finished their activities.
"Uh, is she asleep?" Ben said to Ellie.
"No, I'm just relaxing and enjoying myself," I replied, opening my eyelids.
"AHHHH! You scared the hell out of me Amber!" shouted Ben, startled.
"I'm sorry," I said as we both burst out laughing at his little girlish scream.
When, after several "Shhhh!" from the people in the area, we finally calmed down, the boys settled down next to Ellie and me.
"How was your day?" asked Cody.
"It was great, one of the best I've ever had," said Ellie.
"We should come back more often then," joked the young man with almond eyes.
"You had a great idea, Logan," I said.
"Thanks," he said, blushing slightly.
The conversation continued, stretching on for many minutes. It was a perfect day. I was feeling more and more comfortable with my new friends as I got to know them better each day. I was learning about the details of their troubled lives because of their problems, including the ones they ended up in the center for. It brought us closer together because we understood each other, and I needed that so badly. My mother had never understood me or tried to, leaving me alone with my worries that eventually took control. I was interrupted in my thoughts by Dr. Parish, accompanied by Mrs. Morse.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you kids, but we have to go!"
"Well, who's coming with me?" asked Mrs. Morse.
"Let's just do what we did on the way over," said Ben.
"Perfect!" she exclaimed. "Let's go !"
After changing and drying my hair, I met Logan and Dr. Parish at the front desk, waiting patiently for me. As I followed them to the car, I asked:
"Has Mrs. Morse left yet?"
"Yes," said Dr. Parish. "You know, you'll find Ellie when you get there."
"They're inseparable," Logan added, laughing with him.
I sat in the back while Logan sat in the front with Parish. Parish turned on the ignition and drove out of the parking lot, taking in the scenery. I was lost in contemplating it when the doctor asked me a question.
"So, what are you going to do for your birthday Amber?"
"I don't know," I answered, surprised by what he was asking me.
"Oh, is your birthday coming up? I didn't know," said Logan. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"It's not that big a day for me," I muttered.
"But you're turning 17, you have to celebrate!" he scolded me.
"Oh no, I'm not the party type and I don't like my birthday."
"Oh, you don't? Why?" said the young blond man, turning around to look at me.
"Because everyone is making a big deal out of nothing," I admitted.
"But that's what makes them so unforgettable!
"You don't understand!"
"Then explain it to us!"
I didn't know if I wanted to confide in Logan, to tell him the reason why I hate birthdays, especially mine. However, I decided to trust him and before I could back out, I took a breath and explained:
"Every year my mom throws me a party. She invites friends, neighbors, lots of people. People I don't want to see personally. I have nothing against them and I'm not looking for an excuse. I have a self-confidence problem and I know that. But my mother never listened to me! How do you expect me to have fun on my birthday if I don't feel comfortable with the people around me? For the most part, I didn't even know them. It was more of a party for my mom than for me. Anyway, she was happier than I was."
"Has she been doing this since you were born?"
"Oh no, when my dad..., well when he was still with us, we normally celebrated as a family, but since he's... since he left, she started throwing these big parties to keep up appearances, to show people that we could live without him. But since he's been gone, she's been in denial. We never really knew what to do after he left," I said.
"Wow, that must have been hard!" the young man commiserated, looking into my eyes with his amber eyes.
"No," I said in a small voice.
And he couldn't imagine how much!
*****
Chapter Eighteen.
Listening to the music loudly in my ears, I began to hum my favorite song:
“… J'irai chercher ton cœur si tu l'emportes ailleurs
Même si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures
J'irai chercher ton âme dans les froids dans les flammes
Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore
Je trouverai des langages pour chanter tes louanges
Je ferai nos bagages pour d'infinies vendanges
Les formules magiques des marabouts d'Afrique
J'les dirai sans remords pour que tu m'aimes encore …“ *
I waddled my head, following the tempo of the music. Then my body began to move and I closed my eyes, soaking up the melody. When the song ended, I heard applause at my back and turned around abruptly.
"Don't tell me you've been here the whole time?" I asked Logan as I took off my headphones.
"Yes," he laughed.
"It's not funny," I said.
"But you sing very well, you shouldn't be ashamed! So is Celine Dion your favorite singer or what?"
"Yes, why?" I answered.
"For nothing, I just wanted to know. It's changing! People of our generation don't like this kind of music," he said.
"Well, I do," I said defensively.
"I think it's great!" exclaimed Logan, smiling at me.
"Thank you," I stammered, confused.
"That makes you unique and special," he added.
"Thank you," I repeated, embarrassed by the compliments. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to pick you up for a little surprise," he announced.
"If it's for my birthday, forget it!"
"Come on, please, follow me, I'm sure you'll like it!"
"Okay, but if I don't like it, you'll owe me!" I said, a little annoyed.
"I promise!"
Suddenly, he took my hand and led me down a maze of corridors. His palm was incredibly warm and soft, and the touch made my heart race. I didn't understand my reaction, but it felt good.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked after a moment.
"Shh! Don't you know what a surprise is? We'll be there soon," he said.
And indeed, after a turn, he opened a door and I discovered the mystery of this story. I was in the huge kitchen of the center where a middle-aged man was waiting for us by his work table.
"Amber, this is the center's head chef, Mr. Paolini. He makes the best ravioli in the world," he whispered in my ear.
"Nice to meet you," I said.
"Nice to meet you, too, Miss," he replied.
"Mr. Paolini and I have known each other for a long time," Logan explained. "And I asked him a little favor to spice up your birthday."
"You must be special if Mr. Logan does this for you," said the cook.
"I guess," I mumbled, blushing.
"Well, let's get to work!" he said.
He handed us aprons and we got to work.
"What are we going to do?" I asked curiously.
"A huge chocolate fondant," Mr. Paolini replied.
"Oh, that's my favorite cake. How did you know?" I said, turning to Logan.
"Steve told me, or rather I asked him," he confessed.
"Well, you get along with everyone here," I remarked.
"Oh Mr. Logan is friends with everyone, he's a charming young man, when he avoids doing something stupid of course," Mr. Paolini explained.
"Indeed," I agreed. "Only when he doesn't get into trouble."
Then, in revenge, Logan bombarded me with flour, covering me with white particles. Instead of throwing it back at him, I burst out laughing, feeling that I had earned it. He joined in, filling the air with our good humor. Then he handed me a rag and I began to clean my face. When I was done, we went back to work following Mr. Paolini's advice.
We started by cutting out pieces of chocolate to melt in a water bath. Then, following Mr. Paolini's example, Logan separated the yolks from the egg whites and I used the tools at our disposal to whip them into snow. When the chocolate was completely melted, we added the egg yolks along with the sugar, flour and egg whites.
"We should add caramel," Logan suggested.
"I don't like caramel," I said in a small voice.
"You don't? That was a very bad idea," he said.
"No, no, I'm the picky one!"
At the end of the preparation, we poured it in the mould and put it in the oven, previously prepared by Mr Paolini. After half an hour, the time to cook the cake and let it cool, we could finally taste it. It was exquisite and subtly melting. The aromas blended together to give me a firework of flavors. It was simply delicious.
"So?" asked Logan.
"Oh my God, this is so good! We should bring Ellie here, maybe it will help her."
"Yes, why not!" he agreed.
"And thank you very much, Mr. Paolini!" I added.
"You're welcome Miss Amber, it was a pleasure!" he answered me. "Here, take it!"
"Thank you and goodbye," I said gratefully when he handed me the fondant in aluminum foil.
Then, grabbing my able-bodied hand, Logan and I left the kitchen, a big smile on our lips.
*"...I'll go for your heart if you take it away
Even if in your dances others dance your hours
I'll search for your soul in the cold in the flames
I will cast spells for you to love me again
I will find languages to sing your praises
I will pack our bags for endless harvests
The magic formulas of the marabouts of Africa
I will say them without remorse so that you still love me..."
*****
Chapter Nineteen.
When I entered my room, still accompanied by Logan, I was surprised to find my mother waiting for me. Embarrassed, I suddenly let go of the amber-eyed boy's hand to face my mother.
"Where is Tony?" I asked, without greeting her.
"He went to the bathroom with your doctor," she replied. "He should be back soon. Hi, I'm Claire Branson," she said, reaching out to Logan.
"Logan Reyes," he introduced himself and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you!"
"So how are you?" she asked.
"I'm fine," I mumbled. "Is everything okay at home?"
"Oh yes, we miss you very much," said my mother.
"Then why did you leave me here?"
"I didn't leave you, I wanted you to get better and heal, something you can do here," she explained.
"Yeah, another choice I didn't make that you decided for me! It's all about keeping up appearances and making people think we're a perfect little family that wasn't destroyed by Dad leaving!"
"Don't say that, Amber!"
"You know I'm right!" I shouted as I left the room.
I couldn't stay there, I was suffocating from the confrontation. I couldn't stand her leaving her mask in front of me. I am her family, she doesn't have to hide from me. Tony and I had suffered as much as she had from this departure, but she couldn't conceive it. And I couldn't understand why.
"Amber, Amber wait!" a voice shouted in the distance.
Turning around, I saw Logan running towards me. I stopped so he could join me. When he was near me, I did something that totally surprised me and caught him off guard: I threw myself into his arms and burst into tears.
"I'm sorry you had to see that! I feel terrible!" I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"No, it's okay! You know, with my family it's not always pretty, so I understand!" he comforted me while stroking my back.
"Really?" I said, taken aback.
"Yes, I swear."
"Thank you, thank you for being there for me," I said as I stopped crying.
"Don't worry, it's nothing," he replied gently.
"No, it's much more than that! Before, I had no one to help me, my friends were deserting me. It's partly my fault, I closed myself off and rarely went out of my little bubble. So they left and since then, I feel a lack, an emptiness of not having any support. Because it's not my mother who is going to give me any, that's for sure. She also never paid attention to me, too busy keeping up appearances."
"But she brought you here, didn't she?" asked Logan, surprised.
"Yes, when I started to become a problem for her and her vision of a perfect family. That's when she wanted to help me, but I don't want her help, not like that anyway," I explained, still in his arms.
"Oh my God, that must have been terrible!"
"Well, not really! I didn't really care," I replied.
"What changed then?" the blond man asked.
"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe being away from my mother and her influence or being here and meeting you and Ellie and the boys. I feel like I belong at this center."
"And we're thrilled to have you here," he announced proudly as he tightened his grip on me. "And since you confided in me, it's my turn!"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm going to tell you my problems, if you don't mind, of course," he added, making me sit down.
"No, no, I'd be happy to," I said.
"To tell you the truth, I don't get along very well with my family either. My parents think that as an only child, they have to take care of me, and since they have plenty of money, they don't have a problem with that, but I don't see it the same way. I don't want their money, I want to earn my own and not depend on them. So sure, it leads to a lot of fights! Plus, I hardly lived with them anymore. I almost always slept at friends' houses, had non-stop parties and we smoked all the time. That's how I got hooked. When I came home, I was high because I didn't want to see them, but at some point they got tired of it and put me here."
"But on the other hand, that's good, isn't it?" I asked when he had finished his tirade.
"Yes, it allowed me to get my life together even if I still have difficulties and then, I met you, ... you and the others," he continued. "And I promise you that I don't touch drugs anymore."
"What made you change your mind?" I asked, curious.
"You," he admitted, blushing.
"Me?" I exclaimed in bewilderment.
"Yes, you!" he confirmed. "The other day when you caught us, you were so angry that I don't know, I felt a shiver and every time I took drugs again, I saw your face screaming at me."
"Uh... is that a compliment?" I asked uncertainly.
"Well, it doesn't sound like one, but it is!"
"Thank you, then," I said.
Then we continued to talk for hours and hours, taking turns confiding in each other. I learned incredible things about him: he loves to drive sports cars like the ones in Fast & Furious; he runs every morning to get in shape and relieve stress, something I should do too; and most importantly, he has cooking skills, which is why he knows Mr. Paolini. Our discussion never ended, but we had to stop when we realized that the sun was about to set. It was an unusual birthday, but I had, on the whole, a good time.
*****
Chapter Twenty.
Taking advantage of my brother's presence while my mother talked to Dr. Parish, I decided to watch our favorite TV movie: Descendants. Tony has always had a soft spot for this story: bad guys learning to be good guys. Plus, he knows the songs inside and out. At the end of the movie, he asked me for my cell phone so he could play a game. I gave it to him and watched him play with pleasure. Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door and found my friends gathered in the hallway.
"Come on in! This is my little brother, Tony," I said.
"Oh, he's so cute," Ellie remarked, "and he looks just like you."
"Were you watching a movie?" asked Cody.
"Yes, Descendants," I admitted.
"That's a kid's movie," said Ben.
"I like that movie too," Logan said in support.
There was an awkward silence in the room, interrupted only by the sounds of my brother's video game.
"So what are you guys doing here?"
"We came for your presents, of course! Besides, it wasn't nice of you not to tell us."
"Sorry, I didn't want to draw attention to myself," I explained.
"That's okay," she replied. "Now open them!"
Suddenly impatient, I grabbed the gift Ellie was handing me. I carefully took the time to open the gift without tearing it to discover its contents. I took in my hands a camera, but not just any camera, one that goes underwater, to take beautiful pictures of the underwater world with its elegant algae and colorful fish.
Then, I suddenly noticed a thin cloth hidden at the bottom of the box. It was a one-piece Arena swimsuit, made entirely of black with blue and pink patterns on the sides to emphasize the waist. It was absolutely gorgeous.
"Wow, Ellie! Your gifts are wonderful. Thank you so much," I said, thanking her with a hug.
"You're welcome, sweetheart!" she replied.
"Now, us!" shouted Cody and Ben in unison as they handed me a large package.
"Thanks," I smiled.
When I opened it, I was surprised to see a lilac penny skateboard with light blue wheels. I loved skateboarders with their incredible tricks and unique style, unfortunately I had never ridden one. Seeing my confusion, the two boys reassured me:
"Don't worry Amber," said Cody. "We'll teach you how to skate."
"In fact, it's our group's tradition to know how to skateboard," Ben explained. "Even Ellie has one!"
"Yes," replied Ellie. "Thanks to you, I know how to skate, but I almost never go to the skate park with you, I'm not very good at it."
"Why is it a tradition?" I asked, a little curious.
"It's what brought us together," Logan announced. "The first few days the four of us got to know each other, we discovered we liked it, and I've been doing it since I was a kid. So has Ben. We just had to teach Cody and Ellie."
"And now we practice almost every week," Cody added. "And Ellie's really good at it, don't listen to her."
"No, that's not true," she replied.
"Like she can see herself," the dark-haired boy whispered to me.
"I heard you Cody, I'm right next to you!" said the girl, hitting him on the shoulder.
"Ouch!" he complained. "You do not pay anything to wait."
Then Ellie started to run while Cody chased her, laughing. We laughed back as they left the room, leaving Ben, Logan and me.
"They're even more in love than before," Logan remarked.
"It's too bad they don't admit it to each other," Ben added.
"Ellie told me about it briefly, but what exactly happened between them?"
"When we all became friends, Cody and Ellie got really close, and they really got along well, and it was a good connection. So they dated for a few months. They were really in love..."
"Cody was really happy, you should have seen him, he was smiling 24/7," Ben interrupted.
"I guess so."
"So," Logan continued, "they had a great few months together, but then one day Ellie relapsed and for her own good, Cody decided to break up."
"So that she concentrates on her health, you see," completed the boy with the eyes of jade. "But he still cares a lot about her, you just have to watch how he looks at her."
"But I thought she was the one who broke up with him?"
"She says that because she is in denial, she prefers to say that she broke up, it's easier for her to handle," he explained.
Hearing these words made me sad. Ellie had a right to be happy, but her illness prevented her from being happy with the one she loved. I wished I could have done something for them. I felt so helpless sometimes, a feeling I would like to erase from my life.
*****
Photo Credits: Pinterest
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