Chapter One.
There is this girl, sitting alone at the back of the classroom, who I notice as soon as I enter the room. She is beautiful, but looks sad. I am intrigued. Usually, people hide their emotions under layers in order to appear perfect in the eyes of society, and also pretend that they don't have problems even for themselves. But this girl is different. I can feel it.
I sit next to her. She turns her head for only a second to detail me from head to toe, then turns away and gets lost in her thoughts. How I would like to read her mind, in this moment. I would like to know everything about her, and especially what makes her so unhappy. But I don't have the time, because our teacher arrives and the class begins.
***
At the end of the class, I rush after her, in the corridor.
"What's your name?" I ask her outright.
"Why do you want to know?" she replies in a harsh voice.
"Since we're going to spend the year together, I thought it would be nice to know your name, and I would have preferred it to come from you, rather than from the others, if you know what I mean," I say, walking away.
"Julie."
Then she left. This girl wasn't going to make my life easy. Good, I didn't like easy. I liked challenges better. It's much more exciting!
Chapter Two.
The next day, at the end of the day, I followed her to the exit of the building. I caught up with her easily enough and she didn't hide her displeasure from me.
"Hey, I didn't introduce myself last time. My name is Noah."
"Okay," she said, walking away.
"Wait!"
"What? I don't have much time, Noah."
She had said this in a slightly quavering voice, as if she was afraid of something. But of what?
"I've been watching you, you know."
"And?"
"And I've noticed that you don't trust others very much."
"How can you trust people who only care about themselves?"
"You have a point."
I loved her frankness, especially because she had the same view of our classmates as I did. Nevertheless I replied:
"Because don't you think you're the same? After all, we are all more or less selfish."
"Yes, more or less."
Yes, it was clear. I had to get to the bottom of this girl. She was a mystery that I was about to discover.
Chapter Three.
In class, I did all the talking. She hardly ever spoke, except to answer the teachers when they questioned her. She wasn't much of a talker. However, when I asked her questions, she would answer. Vaguely, but she would answer. That was the best part of the day. During the breaks, I stayed with her. At first she tried to chase me away, but she soon realized that it wouldn't work. She tried to run away, but whenever she did that, I followed her around. You can call it what you want, but I call it persistence.
Eventually, we settled into a sort of routine, which I hoped would lead to her surrendering to me.
Chapter Four.
It wasn't until two weeks later that she opened up to me a little. I continued to follow my routine, leaving her free to speak or listen to me whenever she wanted, when she surprised me by speaking of her own accord.
"What in the holy hell do you want?" she asked, raising her voice.
"I want to know who you are, to get to know you."
"Trust me, you don't want to know who I am."
"And why is that?"
"Because I'm broken, Noah, you can understand. I'm not an easy person."
"I know that. You really think I'm easy. That's why I like you."
"You shouldn't. I'm just being mean to you and obnoxious and..."
"Yes, but that's because you're trying to push me away."
She was speechless at my words. Yes, I had hit the nail on the head. We both knew it. Because what she hadn't understood yet, I had understood long ago. Since we met, in fact. By dint of observing her, talking to her and spending time with this girl who literally drove me crazy, I had finally seen through her. And unfortunately for her, she and I had a lot in common.
Chapter Five.
From that day on, she looked at me differently. She opened up to me a little more, telling me about her family, a little about her past, which she never really dwelt on. In fact, she almost never went into detail, for fear that I would learn something she didn't want to disclose. And it was from that day on that we became true friends. She knew she could count on me and I on her, even though we didn't tell each other everything. But I accepted this strange relationship without complaining. We had become closer and closer physically as well. At the same time, I spent my days with her, only with her and no one else. And I was happy about it.
Chapter Six.
One day we had our first fight, which was pretty rough.
"I'm not a romantic," she said.
"Fine, neither am I," I answered honestly.
"But you want something from me and I can't give it to you."
"What? It's ridiculous. You don't think I understood that you were hiding from love. I don't know the reason yet, but I'm going to find out and set you free, even if it takes forever."
"You hear yourself sometimes! Why would I hide from love?"
"In my opinion, you've had your heart broken."
"And you want to fix it, right? But my heart is fine, and you know why? Because I've never dated anyone."
This revelation puzzled me and I couldn't say another word for a few seconds.
"Never?" I said, regaining my voice.
"Never."
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because what?"
"You're never going to give up, are you?"
"Never."
"I'm not the type of girl to wait."
"Wait for what? Can't you be more specific sometimes?"
"I'm tired of being taken for a fool by people. And always making the first move. Because in the end I'm always disappointed. You talk to people by SMS, you hope they will answer you and when you know they saw the message and they don't answer, well I don't like that. I know that they have other things to do than answering me, but to make me wait for five days, I think it's inappropriate."
And she left, leaving me alone and a little worried about her. She had unintentionally let go of everything that was on her mind and I didn't know how she would react now in my presence. I didn't want her out of my life. Because even though she hardly ever talked about herself, I loved being around her.
Chapter Seven.
For the next few days, she didn't speak to me, which was very upsetting. I had been under the impression that we had moved on and become friends. But I was wrong. Every time I approached her, she found a way to get away from me. I didn't understand why she was doing this, she had only revealed herself to me, the closest person to her in that school. And even though I knew it was a big step for her, she shouldn't be ashamed. That's why I wasn't giving up on her and one day, I did this.
Hiding in the maintenance closet, in the dark, I looked through the half-open door to see if she happened to walk by. Just as I was about to give up, I finally saw her. I sighed with happiness. I could put my plan in place.
As soon as she walked by the door, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards me, into the closet. She let out a little howl, which I drowned out with my hand as I placed it over her mouth. She tensed for a moment before she saw it was me.
"What are you doing?" she asked me.
"What do you think I'm doing? I want to talk to you and this is the only idea that came to me."
"You have weird ideas," she answers.
"I know, but I don't care if in the end I manage to talk to you."
"And why do you want to talk to me? I'd like to point out that you're always the one who talks in our conversations, well almost."
"Yes, well, I'm banking on almost right now."
"You didn't answer the question," Julie said.
"But because I like talking to you, you are my friend and... "
"Yes, your friend," she says, lowering her head.
"Wait! Is that why you don't talk to me anymore, because I'm just your friend? But I thought after what you told me that..."
"What? Absolutely not! Maybe I was just a little bit fooled by your gestures, that's all."
"Now you've lost me," I tell her.
"That's the problem."
"Anyway, back to the subject," I let go. "You had no right to avoid me."
"I wasn't avoiding you!"
"You weren't? So what do you call it when you go the opposite way every time I'm around?"
"Okay, okay, I was avoiding you!"
"I have a right to know why. You know you can talk to me and even if it scared you to tell me everything you said last time, I don't care. It doesn't scare me."
"But I am afraid, Noah. You know what I mean? I'm afraid of... "
"Of what? You can count on me, always."
And then she did the only thing that left me perplexed and motionless. She kissed me. At first, too surprised, I did not react. Then, I found my means and gave her back her kiss. Then, as if she had regained her senses, she stopped and ran away, leaving me disoriented and worried.
Chapter Eight.
Having made my decision, I headed to Julie's house, which was in a quiet neighborhood. A little stressed by what I was about to do, I stood in front of her door before knocking, two minutes later. I waited, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants. Then the door opened and Julie was surprised to see me.
"We need to talk," I told her before she had time to say anything.
"That's not a good sign," she said in a small voice.
"No, but we have to."
"What do you want then?" she says in a hard tone, as if she had understood that I was going to hurt her and that she set up her wall of protection.
"I understand how you work, and I know you don't want to get hurt, but did you ever wonder if I'm going to get hurt from all this. From your inconsistent coming and going. I don't know what you want and I'm tired of asking myself a hundred questions that I don't have the answers to and that you won't answer."
"You know very well that... "
"Yes, but I can't go on like this. I need you to trust me," I interrupt.
"But I trust you!" she replies.
"No, otherwise you would tell me everything, knowing that I would keep your secrets. I know you're afraid but have a little faith in me."
"You... you don't understand," she says, tears beading at the corner of her eyes.
"Yes, it's normal, you don't explain anything to me," I say a little too firmly. "And that's why I made the decision not to see you anymore until you understand that when we are friends, it works both ways."
"You... "
"Goodbye, Julie," I say as I leave, without turning around because it would be too painful.
Chapter Nine.
It had been a week since I had gone to see Julie at her house. I missed her but I couldn't say anything, it was my decision. It was for the best. Sometimes, in class, I would glance at her without her seeing it. But that was the end of it.
When school was out, I would go to soccer practice on the school field. When I got there, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw who was waiting for me. She smiled when she saw me.
"Hi," I said when I got close to her.
"Hi," Julie said in a small voice. "How are you doing?"
"Fine and you?"
"I've been thinking about it," she says without answering the question. "And I'm ready to answer your questions."
"All my questions?"
"Yes."
"What happened to you to make you so closed off?"
"I lied to you when I said I wasn't dating anyone. A year and a half ago, I was dating a boy from another high school. We met during the vacations and I fell madly in love with him. But, like everything else I touch, I broke him."
"What do you mean?"
"He got sick, very sick and... and"
She didn't need to continue her sentence. I understood what had happened. I understood everything.
"He had leukemia. I didn't get over it. You should have seen me after that, I was a zombie. Only my mother was able to get me to eat and live again, but I didn't go near anyone after that. I left my friends behind for fear of losing them. Then you came along and were so insistent and stubborn, I couldn't push you away."
"Yes, more stubborn than me, you die," I answer and she laughs at my sentence.
"You made me want to approach people again. To make friends."
"I hope I did the right thing!"
"Yes. But when you came to my house, you really scared me. I thought I had lost you."
"I'm sorry, I won't do that again."
"Promise?"
"Promise," I say, sincerely.
It was the most sincere thing I had ever said in my life. And to make it clear, I went up to her and put my lips on hers for a kiss filled with beautiful promises.
Chapter Ten.
Ten years later.
I woke up and saw my wife lying next to me, still as beautiful as ever. Her round belly only made her more beautiful in my eyes. She opened her eyes and looked back at me.
"Good morning," says Julie to me.
"Hi."
"You are staring at me."
"Yes," I answer even if it's not a question. "I like to look at you. I always like to look at you."
She answered by kissing me, showing me her love.
"I love you," I tell her.
"I love you," she answered.
I kissed her back and went to make myself some breakfast. Since Julie had become my wife, my world was better. And I also knew that I was making her happy because I had made a promise to her for all eternity, to be her husband. And that role suited me perfectly. Especially since I knew I was going to be a father. Nothing made me happier than knowing that our family would grow with a little baby boy who reflected our love. An invincible love.
END.
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